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Is happiness a choice?

Do we intentionally choose to be happy or is it just something that happens? Do we have to make a conscious effort, every day, to be happy or will life just pass us by if we don’t? Do we allow ourselves to feel present with whatever emotions we are feeling at that time, then go back to being happy? What if what we are feeling at that moment is happiness? Do we stop that feeling? Should we try to not feel any other feelings than happiness? What about love or pride or helping others or worry or anger or excitement or lust or congratulations on a job well done?

If we don’t feel other feelings, besides happiness, are we truly living to the fullest extent? But isn’t happiness what we strive for the most?

I generally am a happy person on the inside and I wouldn’t change that for anything, but it has taken me some time to get to this place. I also allow myself to feel other emotions because life is about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

However, if you find yourself in a dark place, this is what you need to do:

I used to think that happiness could largely only be found by what I had, or the trips I took, or the car that I drove. Basically, my happiness relied on keeping up with the Jones’s. Yeah, I come from an incredible family. I have great friends. I have been given opportunities that most haven’t or won’t ever get. I do know I am truly blessed.

I don’t know if it was because my father worked really hard but was always gone and my mother had her own career and social events; I spent a lot of time alone. I have one sister who is much older than I am buts she was gone by the time I really around. Did I use “things” to try and fill some void that I was missing?

I also moved around a lot; my father was in oil. I went to three different high schools so maybe that I was my way of trying to make friends. I am not really sure. I do know I was outgoing the older I got.I had a lot of friends and a handful of friends I was super close with. I was always going out, but part of me just wanted to stay home. It was the “let me fit in and FOMO” that kept me out. And, the more I went out, the lonelier I felt.

But, it wasn’t until my parents were diagnosed with cancer a few years ago that I had to dig deep to find out what happiness truly was. Yes, I got depressed. I spent the first year of living in Denver at hospitals for surgeries and chemo. I ate my feelings.

Fast forward to today and I am, without a doubt, becoming the best version of myself. I am becoming the healthiest I can; I work out every day and eat healthy 90% of the time. I have already lost 30 pounds in a little over two months. When I am not at work, I spend my time with my family and friends, cooking, doing puzzles, exercising, writing and working on my brand, and checking out new sites around town.

What is it that makes you happy? Or, what is it that would make you happy? There is no time like the present to start that side hustle. Do the art you have been longing. Make that music. Reach out to someone you miss. Whatever it is, do it. As long as it isn’t hurting you or someone else, you will get this moment back…SOOOO, go for it!

A year ago, I was a completely different person and what they say is true. You are not defined by who you were five minutes ago. We are ever evolving and always on the pursuit to be the best we can be. Life is short so we need to make the most out of it. But you can’t truly be happy until you find the happiness within. Once you find that, you start radiating and attracting those vibes all around you. It’s a marathon my dear, not a sprint.


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